Pithy Résumés and Taking Words for Walks

I have had a lot of words on my mind today. Probably because I recently revamped my résumé and updated my profile on LinkedIn, which I still haven't figured out how to use. In the process, however, I have looked at a lot of other profiles and thought, sheesh! Mine is pretty pithy; it's clear, concise, easy to read and you don't have to be a genius to figure out what I do. What am I doing wrong? And that got me thinking about these things called words, what they mean, and how we use them.

An author I know says, "Writers take words for walks." I love this saying because that is precisely what writers are supposed to do. With our words we can take people places; the journey is a purposeful trek in which the reader is an active and willing participant. I'm always amazed when I read books like Harry Potter. Words create magic, no pun intended, and yet, there is not a single word in any of the Harry Potter books that require translation or access to a dictionary. Simple. Elegant. Clear. Masterfully constructed and brilliantly executed.

The author I referenced above is a also brilliant writer. He is a Parisian and embraces this persona fully and completely. He has an incredible gift for taking mundane, ordinary things and turning them into mini masterpieces; he is a wordsmith maestro, a master at taking words for walks and I owe a lot to him. He reached out to me when he discovered my blog and offered to be my writing coach. He thought I had a knack for writing and believed I could do it professionally. "Really?" I asked. "I don't know how to write." That was February 2015.

My Foray into Corporate Communications
When I returned from Spain in June of last year, I landed a job as a writer. It was an extraordinary opportunity. I was willing to go to any length to prove myself capable and learn anything and everything I could about corporate communications. In my first week, my official title became "writer." It is an honor I am still earning.

During the last ten months, I have learned a tremendous amount about writing and corporate communications. I have also taken pity on the English language and how our writing skills as a society have plummeted and our misuse and abuse of words have reached epic proportions. I can't tell you how many things I've read in my job that once finished, I couldn't tell you a thing about.

Verbosity: Charlie Brown's teacher, all day, every day
In corporate communications there are a lot of buzz words that are misused, overused, and tell me absolutely nothing except that I need another cup of coffee or a nap.

"By utilizing synergistic practices, networking and collaborating with stakeholders, and innovating more efficient processes that focus on strategic and tactical operations, I have reduced resources and had a greater impact on the mission."

What? True story. People write like this and expect others to know what the hell they are talking about. Using hot button words and lots of them does not actually mean you are saying anything meaningful. If I have to read something twice to understand it, it's wrong. Plain and simple. It's like a joke with a bad punch line that you have to explain. #Fail.

Copyediting and Clairvoyance: Explain it to me like I'm a fifth grader
In addition to writing, copyediting has taken center stage in my career. And while I have moments of clairvoyance, I am not a mindreader. I have, however, become more proficient at translating corporate speak into plain English. Unfortunately, it seems the corporate environment has removed common sense, simplicity, and humility from the vocabulary of the average worker. This creates a bit of a problem when you're trying to explain something to someone who does not work in your job field. Keep it simple, tell it to me like a fifth grader, and you will successfully convey your message.

Pithy Résumés
Now that I'm in the hunt for a new job somewhere out West, preferably Oregon, I've got my one-page professional summary prepared in the simplest of terms. No fancy, elaborate verbiage that reeks of conceit and snobbery and leaves you wondering what I do, or worse, why you're not smart enough to translate my exotic shibboleth that makes you feel stupid for not knowing what the hell I'm saying. I've thrown out every corporate key word that makes me think I sound smart but really doesn't say anything. It's efficient and honest. In other words, it's direct and intentionally not sexy. Why? Because I want to attract the right employer: one that respects clarity, honesty, humility, and likes to keep things simple, pragmatic, and grounded. I'm not looking for an egomaniac employer in a highly competitive environment that is going to suck my soul just to earn a buck. I'm just looking for a job as a writer. Plain and simple, cause that's what I am.