2016, Located at the Intersection of Fear and Hope

"Sometimes we have to travel to the edge of ourselves to find the center." - Buck Ghosthorse,  Lakota Medicine Man

New Years is a time for reflection and renewed commitment to improve our lives in a way that characterizes who we are and who we wish to become. The end of 2016 marks the intersection of two very different realities in America—one is fear, the other is hope. 

A simplified duality, these two realms exist within my soul just as they do in the greater world. Fear and Hope—the yin and yang of self-will versus the way of the Tao.

Fear, real or perceived, can enslave us or motivate us. How we use it determines our character. Channel it for empowerment. Succumb to it and hopelessness awaits. Respect it and disabuse others from it and you will bring peace and hope to the world.

In 2017, I choose hope. 

 

Mindful Spending—or Not Spending—on Black Friday

One of the craziest American traditions—Black Friday—is the perfect time to exercise mindfulness and restraint of excess consumption. In the U.S., consumption levels are not sustainable. We far outspend, out purchase, and out consume every other country on Earth even though we are only 5% of the world's population. So, it's imperative, in this desperate time of climate change that's on the verge of being irreversible, that we make more mindful decisions when it comes to consumption.

Being an educated, informed consumer is one of the best things any one of us can do on a daily basis to make life better and more sustainable for ourselves, our children, and our planet. Black Friday is a good time to remember that consumers have a lot of power in a capitalist democracy and nothing is more powerful than voting with your pocketbook. 

Supporting small, local businesses is one of the best ways to make a statement about your values. You can also bring awareness to causes you care about. Small businesses that give consumers with a conscience ways to spend mindfully are popping up all over the country. One such example is Kombucha Dog, an organic, non-GMO delicious taste bud experience that has married up with a great cause: rescue dogs. Another company that has really made an impression on me is REI with their OptOutside Campaign, closing doors on Black Friday, encouraging people to participate in life instead of shopping. There are many more businesses jumping onboard this mindfulness train, consumers just have to do their homework.

I am very proud of the life I’ve led in this regard. Living mindfully is a cornerstone of my existence. Perhaps it is the Native American Indian within me—I have always felt a deep kinship with the Earth and a desire not to take more from her than I can give back. While I will never be able to give more than I receive from the Earth's bounty, I try every single day to be a steward of the Earth and all sentient beings; to put loving-kindness for my planet and animals first. When I do this, I make healthier choices for me and the planet. When I do this, I put my money into the causes that mean the most to me. I vote with my pocketbook every time I purchase something. As a minimalist, the money I don’t spend is also a vote against consumerism and the institutions that are driving the train of consumption sickness and climate change in this country.

So this Black Friday, be an informed consumer, or better yet, follow REI’s lead and not be a consumer at all. Minimalism is beautiful. Buy local. Buy thoughtful. Spend wisely.

Monitor and Adjust, Feel Your Feelings, and Find a Way Forward

No matter which side of the election results you are on, you may be more present in your own life today than you have been in a long time. Right now, many are feeling their feelings, running the gamut from anger to elation, hope to fear, and everything in between.

Yesterday, a very wise and classy colleague of mine said to me very diplomatically, "What can we do but monitor and adjust, right?"

"I will," I responded. "Eventually. But today, I am feeling my feelings. I am not there yet."

This morning, I woke up again wondering, Is this real? Then I saw a segment on the Portland, Oregon protests that turned to riots. I was in Portland only a week ago. I cried. I am still crying. My god, what have we done?

As angry as I feel, I will never choose violence as a mean to protest. It only weakens the people we are; the person I am.  It weakens the message of "Love Trumps Hate." It weakens us as a nation.

I am not in any way suggesting that we beg the president elect's pardon. He does not get a pass on admittedly committing sexual assault and spewing racist, misogynist, hate-filled speech because 18.7% of the country (59,937, 338 out of 318.9 million citizens) turned out to vote for him. He needs to take responsibility for inciting this level of anger, though I am not holding my breath. I have yet to see this man take responsible for anything except winning.

Trump supporters are responding too. And while I have not independently verified with my own eyes acts of violence against "others," it's happening.

But Trump isn't the only person I'm upset with. I'm upset with the 50% of US citizens who didn't bother to vote. WTF? We call ourselves a civilized nation, a world power, a leader of leaders and yet, half of our citizens didn't even vote. While felony disenfranchisement explains what happened to 6.1 million of those unaccounted citizen votes, it sure as hell ain't everyone.

Another thing I'm upset with is the electoral college. This is the second election in 16 years (Bush v. Gore) where a president won the popular vote but did not win the election.

The purpose of the electoral college—created by our founding fathers—is to provide a buffer between the people and Congress to ensure that all people are represented regardless of their state's size. But in truth, this undermines the ideal of one citizen, one vote. When this happens, your vote doesn't matter. Democrats need to drop "your vote matters" as a talking point because it's simply not true.

Some say the electoral college is what makes the United States a republic—not a pure democracy—and therefore more stable; however, I will contend, that in a federal election, your state of residence—in an age where people are as mobile as running water—has zero bearing on the person you elect to lead this nation. Congressional reps, sure. State laws, yes. But presidents? No. No one, not even Donald Trump or Sarah Palin, has argued that your state of residence guides your inner voter voice. Voters are guided by issues, passions, and unfortunately fears.

But, the electoral college does determine where politicians pander which is exactly why they tell you that it can't be eliminated. If we didn't have the electoral college, they would have to be a nominee for all the people, in all places. They wouldn't know how to wrap their heads around that. They wouldn't know where to spend their money. They wouldn't know which talking points to use where. And why should any one state matter more than another? How many times did we hear this election cycle, Who would have thought our state (fill in the blank) actually matters this year?

If we are to be a country that values its people, its diversity, and its humanity, then the electoral college needs to be eliminated. This is one thing I can agree with DJT on. In 2012, the president elect described the electoral college as a "disaster" (like he describes everything else). The electoral college is the very definition of a rigged system in today's world.

While there are 10,000 other things I could talk about today, these are the three things that stick out in my mind as things we need to fix before 2020. We need to mobilize and get this stuff done ... along with those 10,000 other things.

Federal mandate for motor voter registration 
Eliminating felony disenfranchisement laws
Eliminating the electoral college

P.S. Mr. President ... I know you are busy and have a zillion and one things to do ... but if you could squeeze out a few more executive orders before you go ...

And Then ... on November 9th

No matter what happens—no matter who you have voted for on 8 November—on 9 November, your actions and words matter.

The last year has brought to the forefront that which was hidden between blades of grass in an open field: racism, fear, hate, misogyny, and the mainstreaming of appalling behavior and language. And I want to thank Donald Trump for bringing us all into the conversation in ways none of us could have ever predicted.

I'm not going to pretend there will be smooth sailing on 9 November for anyone. There will not be a sigh of relief. Instead, we will be on edge waiting for the aftershocks of violence and protests that may follow this nasty, 9.0 magnitude election of epic destruction. It would be naive to expect everyone to accept the outcome after all the rhetoric that has debased our human decency and gone far in attempting to undermine our democratic process.

Once the dust has settled, the rebuilding process will begin. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, this is a window of opportunity for America to continue the many conversations that we started during this election cycle. If we have learned anything about some Americans during the last 18 months, it's that they are dissatisfied with government and their lives and they want change. But change goes far beyond the ballot box. It is not up to our elected officials to do everything for us. We must do much of it ourselves.

According to Dictionary.com, one definition of a politician is: a seeker or holder of public office, who is more concerned about winning favor or retaining power than about maintaining principles. 

Most Americans can agree this is a fitting definition of the candidates we have to choose from this year. How did we get here? Apathy on the part of everyone, myself included. It's easy to live in a bubble and shut everyone else out. It's easier to kick people out of our lives who are not like minded than to have substantive conversations about issues and respectfully disagree. If you don't believe me, think about how many people you've cut off this election cycle from your social media accounts. I've done it myself.

Part of this contentiousness between differing view points is a consequence of social media. We are inundated with information at home and work. It's natural to filter out information that is in disagreement with our beliefs and feelings. And managing the first amendment in the social media age is tricky. 

The Federal Communication Commission, led by five commissioners who are political appointees, does not fact check our media. That would be communistic not to mention impossible. Instead, we have profit seeking, competitive media sources that rely on journalistic integrity, editorials, sensationalism, and reputation to propel information. And most Americans feel it's untrustworthy; no one knows who or what to believe anymore. But it's incumbent on consumers to fact check and not parrot information. Why? Because the average consumer cannot parse out what is an editorial and what is fact without slant. But here's the catch, most people don't, nor do they have the time or the desire. So now what?

People want to be able to trust the information they receive. But how? Personally, I turn to non-profits and international news like National Public Radio, the BBC, and Al Jezeera. I also read many different things including research from universities and scientific studies. I have Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC apps on my phone and I compare who is covering what. It's easy to see the political leanings of each based on what they cover and what they don't. Consumers should review information from many sources, especially sources that don't have a dog in the fight ... or at least ... less of one. When it comes to POTUS, however, there isn't a person on Earth that doesn't have a stake in this election. 

Besides being an informed voter and citizen, the next thing any of us can do is be a decent human being who treats others with respect. There is only one race, and that is the Human Race. It doesn't mean you have to like everyone, but you ought to respect your human siblings no matter their skin color, gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual preference, or any other difference they have from you. If we were all alike, this world would suck. Isn't that what Jesus said? 

Restraint of pen and tongue and having compassion are stalwart behaviors of good hearted people with even-keeled temperaments. 

Hold the mantra "Do No Harm" at the forefront of your mind and act on it.

Rally for the things you are passionate about. Don't wait for an election to voice your position on your passion. 

To thine own self be true. Be honest with yourself and with others. If your are changing your views solely to protect your position, don't. There is no worse regret than being untrue to yourself. And these days, almost everything you say and do is being captured by someone somewhere with a cell phone or hot mic. 

Learn to respectfully disagree with others using substantive based facts to support your argument. If you aren't sure what those are, seek information from universities and libraries before beginning hot topic conversations and remember, sound bites are not supporting evidence. 

If you are not willing to be a positive part of the change process, get your passport ready. Emigration is always an option. Canada's migration policy. 

And then of course, there is revolution. 

And just in case DJT wins this election I have one final plea:

Sane Republicans, if Donald wins, please do your best to clean up your party and get some qualified, decent people to represent America in Congress. I give you permission to continue being  the party of NO as long as DJT is in office. This will prove this social experiment failed and give us a chance to recover more quickly with fewer setbacks.

Michelle, if Hillary does not win, would you please consider asking Bernie to be your running mate in 2020? And if Hillary does win, please consider running in 2024.

Thanks. 

Why We Don't Tell ...

"It was a dream. She's making this up. She's lying. She's just mad that I didn't give her what she wanted."

That's how my step-father convinced my mother that I was making "it" up.

The visits to my bedroom in the middle of the night became more frequent. He touched me while I pretended to be asleep.

There was no one to stop it. Not even my own mother believed me, even though it was not the only time he'd been accused.

He controlled my every movement. He touched me whenever and wherever he wanted. He'd say, "Without me, you and your mother will be living on the streets. No one will believe you anyway."

I was just a child.

When I resisted his assaults, I was beaten, sometimes bloody.

There were never witnesses. He was too smart for that.

He escalated over time. When he attempted to rape me, I threatened to call the cops.

"They'll never believe you. You're just a child, a spoiled brat, and that's what I will tell them. They will never take your word over mine."

I didn't call. I didn't tell anyone.

I dreaded every moment living in that house with a sexual predator and a mother who ignored every cry for help.

No one believed me until ... I found the courage to tell the police. I was 15. Terrified. Embarrassed. Scared. Humiliated. Alone.

My mother couldn't bare witness. She never heard what I had to say.

I didn't tell the police everything. I reported only what a damaged 15-year-old child was capable of sharing.

My step-father plead "no contest" and was removed from the house for a year. Probation.

No jail time.

No sex offender registry.

He returned to the house when I was 16. I moved out leaving two young siblings behind.

My mother is still married to the man today.

I am the outsider in my own family because I stood up for myself and said, "No. This is not okay."

He wasn't the first man to sexually assault me. Sadly, he wasn't the last.

This is what rape culture looks like.

Life Is A Canvas, Paint It Any Way You Want—16 Months After the Camino

Do you ever get to a moment in time and ask yourself, how did I get here? Sometimes, you're not sure. Other times, clarity blinds you like sunlight reflecting off the snow.

It was the Government furlough of 2013 that created an unintentional pause in my life. Up until that point, my identity had been wrapped in my profession. My job was my life. Without it, I was lost. The nearly three-week long furlough fed on every insecurity I had. What would I do if I lost my job? Where would I work? What could I do? I had never even worked as a barista or restaurant server. My fragile sense of self-wroth fell apart completely and I spiraled downward to a very dark place.

Where was I going? What good was I doing? Is there anything else I can do? At first, the belief that I could do anything else professionally was minuscule; my thinking boxed me into a corner. My first attempts to step out of the darkness were simple ones, small, easy ones. Then, in 2014, a friend encouraged me to watch The Way. I heard the message: You don't choose a life, you live one.

Inspired, I knew hiking the Camino de Santiago was not something I wanted to do, it was something I had to do. Seeking to do life differently, I embarked on the spiritual pilgrimage in hopes of finding my way. I was seeking answers to many complicated questions about my job, my love life, and my life in general.

A few months later, I embarked on the epic journey that provided far more than I could have ever imaged. It was physically, emotionally, and spiritually challenging, difficult, and at times, painful. I suffered, endured, and was, by the end, underweight and malnourished. And yet, it was utterly brilliant, freeing, and spiritually transformational. It fundamentally changed the person I am and how I think about myself. It taught me I am capable of achieving anything I put my mind to. I learned to trust myself and how to find my own pace—that when I put one foot in front of the other, the road will rise up to meet me.

By the time I reached Santiago, I felt more self-assured, capable, and clearer than ever before. For the first time in my life, I knew exactly what I wanted.



Within two weeks of returning, I landed a new job as a writer—a direct result of this blog. Though diving into corporate communications has been an adventure unto itself, I have done my best not to let it highjack my life like my previous career.

The Camino taught me my life is mine to live and I am solely responsible for my happiness. While this seems utterly obvious, it also is easy to forget during life's daily grind.

Everyday I remember the most important gift I received on the Camino: Follow your bliss. It is my mantra. Now, I write, I paint, I photograph ... I dance, I sing, I meditate. I run, I play, I embrace gratitude. I am awake, I am alive, I am at peace, I am truly happy.

Life is a canvas—paint it any way you want.

Confessions of a Worm Killer Part 1

A few years ago, I made a solid attempt at composting kitchen waste in my Tysons Corner apartment. I built a composter and followed online instructions, down to ordering the right worms to help me out. One afternoon, I opened my balcony pantry and discovered every last worm had committed suicide, falling six feet to their deaths during an escape attempt from my over-moist experiment gone horribly wrong. I was horrified by the mass casualties. My good intentions had led to the death of a hundred innocent creatures and I felt awful, for days. I was a worm killer, unfit for such composting activities again.

Fast forward five years. I've recovered emotionally from my transgression and am giving composting another try—this time without the worms.

One of the reasons I became a vegetarian almost 30 years ago, was to reduce my impact on the Earth; to minimize taking more than I could give back. While I knew this was not completely achievable, it was the right path for me. And while not eating anything with a face has been my motto most of my life, there are other things I do that impact the planet and make me feel guilty as hell. One of which is throwing food away.

Without boring you with food statistics, everyone can attest to the realities of food waste in their own home. There is always something we don't eat before it goes bad, or we can't finish and the leftovers would just be gross. No one eats leftover french fries, no matter how yummy they were when they were fresh. So what do you do with all that leftover food?

Starting today, I'm conducting a worm-free composting experiment. I purchased a one-gallon kitchen counter composting bin with filter made by Natural Home. It looks nice on my countertop and is small, easy to access, and unobtrusive.

I added in some over-the-hill organics—lettuce, a banana, and grapes—a few leaves shed by my houseplants, and cut up a few pieces of a Trader Joe's brown paper bag to absorb some of the moisture, and mixed together.

Now it's wait and see time. Since I've never done this before, I'm not sure how or if it will work. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do once it's composted.

As I document this process to see how easy or hard it is, I'm also going to document my observations and note any recommended changes I need to make. The ideal scenario is to compost as little as possible because there is no need; everything eaten or used prior to going bad.

Observation 1: How much food I needed to throw away. I filled the bucket halfway up in a week's time.

Recommendation 1: Weigh the food before tossing into the bin, gaining a better understanding of the volume of food being discarded.

Recommendation 2: Buy less and shop more often, thereby reducing volume of freshies to go bad.

Observation 2: How I'm feeling. Polyemotional. I feel guilty for having so much to throw away, but feel good about taking action steps to reduce waste. I also feel more accountable because I'm documenting this process.

I will check in with everyone next week and let you know how it's going in Confessions Part 2.

To be continued ...

12 Decluttering Tips

What do you do when you're getting ready for a date and can't find that sexy little top you bought because it's buried in your closet? Or you can't remember which junk drawer the nails are in when you're trying to hang a picture? Thoughts about organizing your things may cross your mind after one of these frustrating moments. Perhaps someday you will ... like the next time you're trapped inside during a blizzard.  

Not everyone has a passion for minimalism. Even though society is trending that way, most people live somewhere between hoarding and Manhattan-style living. While I have always leaned toward minimalism—a product of being flat broke most of my life—I have cycled through periods of having more than I need. Frequent moves tends to reduce this problem, but let's be real. Most people aren't gypsies.

Physical stability has many benefits, but one pitfall is accumulating excess stuff. Things we once used can become more a noose than a use over time. Sometimes we outgrow things. Other times we buy things to motivate us. New workout gear may give us the push we need to exercise, or a new food processor will inspire us to cook at home more often. But, you know that cliché about good intentions? 

Over the years, I have helped people declutter and organize problem areas in their homes. Closets are often the greatest quadrants of mayhem, but often the entire house needs TLC. One of the most important steps in the decluttering process is understanding it is an emotional process, not just a physical one, and it takes time. 

What also may surprise you is those with fewer things have a harder time paring down than those with more. It's like needing to lose that last five pounds versus 50. To help with this sometimes challenging task, I've identified 12 tips that have helped me declutter. You can do some of these things or all of them, but any one of them will help you address clutter problem areas that are blocking positive vibes.

1. Visualize how you want to feel when you're at home. Just like an athlete visualizes his or her performance, knowing how you want to navigate within your space is the first step you can take to declutter your life.

2. Identify the problem zone. Is there one area in your house you are avoiding—(kid's bedrooms excluded)? Consider how it makes you feel. Is it draining your energy every time you open that drawer, door, or enter that space? Are you avoiding that space altogether? Closets, desks, drawers, and under bed and sink spaces tend to be where things accumulate, often because they are out of sight ... and out of mind.

3. Start small. If your problem area is an entire room, such as a basement, kitchen, or walk-in closet, identify the area within that space that would give you the most relief if it was decluttered. Perhaps making space under the sink would provide the breathing room you need to move forward in decluttering and organizing your bathroom. Maybe, like me, you have a lot of shoes and trip over them when you walk into your closet. Or perhaps, your have to hold your arm over your head to avoid things falling on you when you open the coat closet. Pick one space—and only one—to conquer today.

4. Give to others. Having things to get rid of, in the scheme of things, is a good problem to have. You are among the fortunate. Many people have little or nothing. Some are homeless. Others are unemployed or underemployed. What you have may be of greater use to someone less fortunate. By giving away items you no longer need, you can be of service to others while at the same time doing something good for yourself.

5. Ask for help. Letting go is hard. It doesn't matter if you are talking about letting go of loved ones, relationships, or material possessions. Like anything else, it's a process. Asking for help is a  commitment to change and a request for accountability. When we do things together, not only is the load a bit lighter, it also keeps us honest. It's easy to talk ourselves into or out of things when we go it alone.

6. Easy wins first. Duplicate items are no-brainers. I recently discovered I have two can openers, four Leathermans, two pairs of shoes that are almost identical, and far more workout tops than workout pants. Surely, someone else can have my extras and put them to good use. These are easy wins to get the momentum going.

7. Stay away from sentimental items. I recently posed a question on Facebook about whether or not to keep my useless, heavy, dust-collecting, never-looked-at high school yearbooks. The overwhelming consensus was to keep them or donate them to my high school archives. So, I begrudgingly stuck them back in my closet, trusting that those who are older and wiser than I, are offering solid guidance. Items that have regret potentiality are items best saved.

8. Timelines. When it comes to certain items, timelines are a great way to determine value. For example, I don't use my snowboard every day, but it should receive come level of use in the winter, right? I haven't used mine since I moved to Virginia ... 10 years ago. So, I'm challenging myself on this. If I don't use it this winter, I'm going to donate it. I love my snowboard and I don't want to get rid of it. So, the choice here is to get off my tush and use it, or give it to someone who will. Same goes for camping gear, and all that other cool equipment I've invested in over the years. I'm instituting my own use it or lose it gear policy. While there is no harm in keeping this stuff if I have space for it, it's not being used either, and when it comes to gear, it's meant to be used.

9. Inventory. Have you ever discovered something once edible in your fridge that turned into a science experiment? There is nothing wrong with conducting regular inventories to keep things fresh and edible in your kitchen. What's more, local area food banks and food drives are always in need. If you have non-perishables that you haven't touched in six months, chances are, you aren't going to eat whatever it is. Donate those items to a worthy cause and free up some space for something you will eat.

10. Organizing. Have you ever been in a hurry and can't find your keys, purse, or wallet? Nothing is more frustrating than misplacing important items in your own home. That's why everything in your home should have a comfortable, logical place to live. What do I mean by this? When your keys go missing, where do you look for them? This is the place you expect to find them. This is their logical home. Make it so.

11. Answering the daily mail. There are a lot of simple things you can do daily to keep your life decluttered. For example, I check my mail daily. I read it, recycle what I don't need, and set aside things I need to file. Weekly, I file that paperwork. This simple exercise prevents overwhelming piles of paperwork from cluttering my life.

12. Lists. For years, I avoided list making because I thought it would impinge on my [already elusive] spontaneity. But, what I discovered was my head was a cluttered mess trying to keep track of tasks. I always felt like I was forgetting something. So, I started making lists. I went from feeling scattered and unproductive to feeling accomplished, organized, and productive right away. I started using my time more efficiently on the weekends, and almost immediately, spontaneity was no longer an elusive ideal I only dreamed of.

If you need help decluttering your life, I'm happy to help. sunshinedaydreams11@yahoo.com

Living Simply and Loving It!

Being a minimalist is not just about not owning excess stuff; it's about your stuff not owning you—t'is about mindful and intentional living. When creating a living or working space, it should be balanced in form and function, aesthetically pleasing, and purposeful. It should create positive vibes that inspire. It should not be emotionally or financially heavy.

One of the coolest things about the Millennial generation is they seem to get this intuitively. As digital natives, they benefit from virtual world access without acquisition unlike previous generations. In an almost pre-industrial sense, only having what you need and paying in cash is the new old-school way of living. It's not uncommon for Millennials to live and work in the same community, walk, bike, or metro to work, use Uber when they need a lift, and not possess a credit card. 

Millennials are reinventing American business culture too—Airbnb, Uber, Pokémon Go—these are new concepts that are changing the face of US businesses, the way people earn a living, and how people live. It's an exciting time and I'm stealing a page out of the Millennial playbook. 

From my new apartment, I can bicycle two miles to work without breaking a sweat. I can walk to the market and a wide swath of locally-owned business and restaurants within 10-minutes. There also is a small library, community center, theater, and numerous parks and hiking trails within a short walk or bike ride from my new pad. 

Living simply is freeing. Using my feet instead of a motorized vehicle slows down the breakneck pace of life. I look around, smell the roses, and examine my surroundings. It feels good to ditch the car and be more physically self-reliant. When I have to carry my groceries, I buy less, and therefore throw away less. I also feel better about using less petrol; I spend less on gasoline and it's better for the environment—another win-win. Finally, it's just better for me, mentally and physically, to walk or ride my bike whenever I can. 

Day by day I have been de-echoing my tiny new abode. I've purchased a few things; plants, art, and a small area rug. Yesterday, I splurged on a Le Creuset skillet and pot, and a set of three knives to replace the Leatherman I've been using over the past several months. While the Leatherman is an effective tool for many things, I have to admit it's not ideal for chopping fruits and vegetables over the long haul. 

By the time the weather finally turns in a few weeks, my little place will be a slice of hip and humble heaven. A place to write, paint, read, meditate, cook, spend time alone or with friends, weather storms, do yoga, and relax. What's more, I've enjoyed the process of creating a mindful space and thoughtful lifestyle that inspires me to do the things I love.

The Tapestry of Life

Our lives are a tapestry of experiences woven together; no two alike, each one a complexity of vibrant colors, patterns, and subtle stitches symbolically representing the people we are. Others around us glimpse our tapestry daily—the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, our possessions—they are all tangible insights into who we are, revealing what's important to us.

Throughout our lives we have opportunities to examine our tapestry and reassess. Do I like these colors? This pattern? Is the stitching right? If the answers are 'yes,' we continue on the same path. If the answers are 'no,' then a world of possibilities open. 

The prospect of changing ones tapestry may be overwhelming or thoroughly exhilarating, perhaps even both stitched together with fear of the unknown. Maybe it's a mixed bag of 'I like some of what I've got, but not everything.' Maybe a slight adjustment is in order; a tweak here, a shift there. In any case, there is one truth—the tapestry is ours to create as we so choose. 

I think of this each time I move. Sometimes it feels like I'm always on the road—my life, a constant state of temporary. But each time, I get to reassess my tapestry and make adjustments. Not because I'm unhappy—to the contrary—it's because I am happy and love the adventure of new and different. 

This morning, I stood humbly beneath the stars waiting for meteors, but instead watched a few lightening bugs dance to the symphony of crickets. The warm air blanketed my body and the only human sound was that of my own breathing. It was a beautiful way to start one of the last mornings in this comfy little pad I've called home for the last four months. I'm going to miss the squirrels pining at my front door and the birds pecking outside my breakfast nook window. I've made treasured memories here, as I have in every place I've lived during my temporary existence on Earth. Alas, it is time to move on. 

I am excited about my new apartment located just a mile down the street. While this move has been dictated by external forces beyond my control, it's another opportunity to reinvent self—pick new colors and patterns for this next bit of tapestry making. 

Although my somewhat nomadic lifestyle is not for everyone, it brings with it the added bonus of simplicity and minimalism ... to a point. Letting go of worldly possessions comes easier for me than it does for some, but I do have an obscene amount of shoes. I imagine this will change when I retire, but for now my shoes are like like art for my feet and I'm okay with that.

It was Frank Lloyd Wright who said space should dictate stuff, not the other way around. So I guess I'm going to find out how many shoes 500 square feet can comfortably accommodate ... or what I'm willing to give up to accommodate them. I've often said eating is an annoying habit, so don't be surprised if you find shoes in my kitchen cabinets instead of food. 

These are tough choices. Food or shoes? You laugh, but there was a time in my life when I didn't have choices—a time when choices I had made trapped me, robbed me of freedom of choice, and bankrupted me spiritually. 

Today, I make different choices. I am in a constant state of temporary because I am always changing and growing. I am progress not perfection on a daily basis. I don't ever want to 'arrive.' I want to continue the Camino of life and weave new tapestry everyday. 

What does your tapestry say about you and what will you weave today?

Johnny Football, An All-American Creation

Where's Johnny? He's on the front page of the Washington Post's Sports section today. Why? you wonder. What has he done now?

This once-all-American kid—whose claim to fame as a Texas A&M superstar, Heisman Trophy winner, and an NFL quarterback long ago earned him the title Johnny Football—is now infamous for spiraling out of control, leaving a wake of destruction in his path. It's an unfortunate turn of events that many claim they didn't see coming. My question is, how could you not? I saw it coming before he graduated from A&M. Perhaps it takes one to know one or maybe it's just common sense.

Every addict leads a double life, but not every addict is forced to do it in the spotlight. 

The thing about the rise and fall of Johnny Manziel is he's not so different from millions of others in the US who slip slide into the depths hell as a result of alcoholism and addiction. Most addicts, however, aren't in the spotlight when it happens so their shame and incomprehensible demoralization is a lot more private. For Manziel, this very public fall from grace also comes with an almost apocalyptic crushing of public expectations. 

But those expectations are not Johnny's to own or make amends for, they are on us, and it's time for America to wake up and recognize our part in this. We are partially responsible for setting kids like Johnny up for destruction.

We need to own this.

Let's examine how when we treat kids like demigods, throw millions of dollars at them, promise them fame and fortune, and then send the paparazzi their way, it's the same as giving them an Arsenic cocktail, especially if they are wired for addiction or depression. 

Last February, I wrote a blog about dramaturgy, commonly known as impression management; the self we present to the world versus our true self. No one exhibits this phenomenon more than people who become famous almost overnight. People like Johnny Manziel.

How do you present yourself in the spotlight and meet public expectations when with the person inside you is someone else entirely? And what happens if you are an addict or alcoholic or suffer from depression or another of type mental health illness? What then?

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results 

Johnny is now more of an all-American creation than he ever was before and while there is no doubt Johnny has work to do, so do we. He's not the first athlete to get in a bad way and he certainly won't be the last. As a society, we've almost come to expect it, and to a certain extent, we revel in the drama. 

But it's not just Johnny's sickness, it's ours too.

Masters of escapism, Americans like to sweep things under the rug and look the other way. We ignore reality and pretend everything's fine. We are completely anesthetized to violence. We ignore mental health issues. We stigmatize alcoholics and addicts and blame them as moral failures. When are we going to hit a bottom and say enough is enough? 

Are we really any different than Johnny?

Our actions—or lack of actions—seem to condone this type of behavior because we keep watching these things happen over and over on instant replay but don't do anything to change them. Watching Johnny's self-destruction is as common as seeing another white police officer shoot an unarmed black man, and God forbid we do anything to change gun laws.

I have a lot of questions and few answers. There are a lot of discussions that need to be had. But as with anything else, change starts at home. Raising questions and talking about things instead of ignoring them is a beginning. 

And to Johnny, I have but one message. I don't care if you ever play football again or not. Get clean, get sober, find yourself, and follow your heart. Take it one day at a time. Get home for Christmas. And remember, America loves a come back story.

The Other 364 Days

Memorial Day in the United States—observed on the last Monday in May—is dedicated to honoring service men and women who died while serving in the military. In Washington, D.C., there are many things people do during the three-day holiday weekend to pay tribute. As a veteran, I think it's important to take one day out of our lives to do this.

In recent years a nostalgia for yesteryear in the US has developed, a longing for simpler times when things were more clear—more black and white—than they are today. The recent political climate suggests that returning to Mayberry—a make-believe place that exists only in Hollywood—would be ideal in the minds of some. While I respectfully disagree with this misguided sentiment, there is one aspect of days long ago that does need to be resurrected.

In the past, going to war was a last resort, entered with great reluctance and after long consideration. Most Americans would agree that the Revolutionary War, Civil War, and World Wars I and II were worth fighting. They were a true call for freedom from oppression. Statesmen of days past entered war cautiously after evaluating the intended and unintended consequences of actions to be or not to be taken.

Since World War II, however, the pendulum of war has swung to the other extreme. Since 1947, the US has reactively entered numerous wars that have annihilated millions of lives and left many survivors and their families irreparably damaged mentally, physically, and emotionally.

The Roman revival of patriotic duty is a call to preserve democracy around the world, a sound bite spoon-fed to Americans that demonizes unpatriotic war protestors and peace seekers. Symbolically, US military men and women are deemed heroes, honored at every turn—penance for Vietnam because after all, it was not their fault; they did their patriotic duty.

In five years, the US will have been in Afghanistan as long as Vietnam, and what, if anything, has changed except the call for more warring? The US has been fighting wars on two fronts since 2003; three since 2014, with no end in sight. When will Americans say, enough is enough?

As a veteran—and a patriot—I encourage you to honor the fallen and pay tribute this Memorial Day. And on Tuesday, when your lives go back to not thinking about the aftermath of shattered lives and fallen airmen, coast guardsmen, marines, sailors, and soldiers for another 364 days, ask yourself, who's fighting for peace?

Pithy Résumés and Taking Words for Walks

I have had a lot of words on my mind today. Probably because I recently revamped my résumé and updated my profile on LinkedIn, which I still haven't figured out how to use. In the process, however, I have looked at a lot of other profiles and thought, sheesh! Mine is pretty pithy; it's clear, concise, easy to read and you don't have to be a genius to figure out what I do. What am I doing wrong? And that got me thinking about these things called words, what they mean, and how we use them.

An author I know says, "Writers take words for walks." I love this saying because that is precisely what writers are supposed to do. With our words we can take people places; the journey is a purposeful trek in which the reader is an active and willing participant. I'm always amazed when I read books like Harry Potter. Words create magic, no pun intended, and yet, there is not a single word in any of the Harry Potter books that require translation or access to a dictionary. Simple. Elegant. Clear. Masterfully constructed and brilliantly executed.

The author I referenced above is a also brilliant writer. He is a Parisian and embraces this persona fully and completely. He has an incredible gift for taking mundane, ordinary things and turning them into mini masterpieces; he is a wordsmith maestro, a master at taking words for walks and I owe a lot to him. He reached out to me when he discovered my blog and offered to be my writing coach. He thought I had a knack for writing and believed I could do it professionally. "Really?" I asked. "I don't know how to write." That was February 2015.

My Foray into Corporate Communications
When I returned from Spain in June of last year, I landed a job as a writer. It was an extraordinary opportunity. I was willing to go to any length to prove myself capable and learn anything and everything I could about corporate communications. In my first week, my official title became "writer." It is an honor I am still earning.

During the last ten months, I have learned a tremendous amount about writing and corporate communications. I have also taken pity on the English language and how our writing skills as a society have plummeted and our misuse and abuse of words have reached epic proportions. I can't tell you how many things I've read in my job that once finished, I couldn't tell you a thing about.

Verbosity: Charlie Brown's teacher, all day, every day
In corporate communications there are a lot of buzz words that are misused, overused, and tell me absolutely nothing except that I need another cup of coffee or a nap.

"By utilizing synergistic practices, networking and collaborating with stakeholders, and innovating more efficient processes that focus on strategic and tactical operations, I have reduced resources and had a greater impact on the mission."

What? True story. People write like this and expect others to know what the hell they are talking about. Using hot button words and lots of them does not actually mean you are saying anything meaningful. If I have to read something twice to understand it, it's wrong. Plain and simple. It's like a joke with a bad punch line that you have to explain. #Fail.

Copyediting and Clairvoyance: Explain it to me like I'm a fifth grader
In addition to writing, copyediting has taken center stage in my career. And while I have moments of clairvoyance, I am not a mindreader. I have, however, become more proficient at translating corporate speak into plain English. Unfortunately, it seems the corporate environment has removed common sense, simplicity, and humility from the vocabulary of the average worker. This creates a bit of a problem when you're trying to explain something to someone who does not work in your job field. Keep it simple, tell it to me like a fifth grader, and you will successfully convey your message.

Pithy Résumés
Now that I'm in the hunt for a new job somewhere out West, preferably Oregon, I've got my one-page professional summary prepared in the simplest of terms. No fancy, elaborate verbiage that reeks of conceit and snobbery and leaves you wondering what I do, or worse, why you're not smart enough to translate my exotic shibboleth that makes you feel stupid for not knowing what the hell I'm saying. I've thrown out every corporate key word that makes me think I sound smart but really doesn't say anything. It's efficient and honest. In other words, it's direct and intentionally not sexy. Why? Because I want to attract the right employer: one that respects clarity, honesty, humility, and likes to keep things simple, pragmatic, and grounded. I'm not looking for an egomaniac employer in a highly competitive environment that is going to suck my soul just to earn a buck. I'm just looking for a job as a writer. Plain and simple, cause that's what I am.

At 10 Years, it Ain't Paris, but It'll Do ...

One year ago today I caught a plane to Paris to begin my trek on the Camino de Santiago. Today, I took a trek of a different kind. And while it wasn't a journey to Paris, it was mindful all the same.

Since I moved back to McLean three weeks ago I've been yearning for a commuter bike. The heart of town is one mile from my new place, and there is a trail that runs from here to to there, away from roadside traffic. How nice would it would be to just walk or ride into town?

I started looking around; I wanted to buy the right bike from the right shop. Fortunately, in the DC area, consumers have the luxury of being picky about not only what they purchase but where they spend their hard earned dollars.

Four shops into my hunt, I stopped at Bikes@Vienna, a locally owned and operated shop in the heart of Vienna on Church Street. At first glance I pretty much saw what I was looking for. I stepped out of the shop and thought it through before going back inside 10 minutes later, compelled to at least investigate further.

I asked the guy working at the counter a few questions and then took the bike for a spin. It was like nothing I'd ridden before. Sitting upright gave me a tremendous view of everything around me and I was enthralled immediately. The old school, retro looking Linus Mixte was comfortable, elegant, and simple. It was love at first ride. I bought the bike.

What's more, the buying experience was so pleasant, easy, and casual. The store vibe was really chill. Professional, yet relaxed. As it turned out, the guy working at the counter was the shop owner, Tim—always a thumbs up in my book. And while I was there I met the shop mechanic, Nikki, and her awesome dog, Ripley. It was an awesome small-town buying experience; Bikes@Vienna has definitely gained a repeat customer.

This afternoon I got on my new bike and cruised through the neighborhoods of McLean and Falls Church, road up and down hills, hit the W&OD trail, and then, on my way home, stumbled onto a great mediation spot just a mile from my house. I stopped for awhile to listen to the creek flowing and feel the sun on my face.

When I got home I grabbed my trekking poles—virtually abandoned since the Camino—and went for a three mile walk in the afternoon sun. It felt so nice to slow down and just walk with nowhere to be and no time to be there. My only intention was to enjoy each moment and listen to the rhythm of the tink, tink, tinking of my trekking poles against the pavement. It didn't take long before I realized how much I miss walking every day and how mindful trekking can re-inspire and reprioritize all that matters in life.

Today, I am grateful to all of my friends of Bill, and all the people in my life who have trekked with me and helped me get where I am today. At 10 years it ain't Paris, but it'll do.