It was the Government furlough of 2013 that created an unintentional pause in my life. Up until that point, my identity had been wrapped in my profession. My job was my life. Without it, I was lost. The nearly three-week long furlough fed on every insecurity I had. What would I do if I lost my job? Where would I work? What could I do? I had never even worked as a barista or restaurant server. My fragile sense of self-wroth fell apart completely and I spiraled downward to a very dark place.
Where was I going? What good was I doing? Is there anything else I can do? At first, the belief that I could do anything else professionally was minuscule; my thinking boxed me into a corner. My first attempts to step out of the darkness were simple ones, small, easy ones. Then, in 2014, a friend encouraged me to watch The Way. I heard the message: You don't choose a life, you live one.
Inspired, I knew hiking the Camino de Santiago was not something I wanted to do, it was something I had to do. Seeking to do life differently, I embarked on the spiritual pilgrimage in hopes of finding my way. I was seeking answers to many complicated questions about my job, my love life, and my life in general.
A few months later, I embarked on the epic journey that provided far more than I could have ever imaged. It was physically, emotionally, and spiritually challenging, difficult, and at times, painful. I suffered, endured, and was, by the end, underweight and malnourished. And yet, it was utterly brilliant, freeing, and spiritually transformational. It fundamentally changed the person I am and how I think about myself. It taught me I am capable of achieving anything I put my mind to. I learned to trust myself and how to find my own pace—that when I put one foot in front of the other, the road will rise up to meet me.
Within two weeks of returning, I landed a new job as a writer—a direct result of this blog. Though diving into corporate communications has been an adventure unto itself, I have done my best not to let it highjack my life like my previous career.
The Camino taught me my life is mine to live and I am solely responsible for my happiness. While this seems utterly obvious, it also is easy to forget during life's daily grind.
Everyday I remember the most important gift I received on the Camino: Follow your bliss. It is my mantra. Now, I write, I paint, I photograph ... I dance, I sing, I meditate. I run, I play, I embrace gratitude. I am awake, I am alive, I am at peace, I am truly happy.
Life is a canvas—paint it any way you want.
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